I want a tanuki for my garden! A nice, traditional tanuki, not one of the modern PC ones. I'll put him by the potted citrus trees and he can peek out between the branches and scare away bad vibes floating over the fence from the neighbors' yard. Or, if he needs to, he can shape-shift himself into a chupacabras and bound over the fence and scare the crap out of them. That would be good.