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Gearing up for Estrella
Feb. 8th, 2007 09:33 pmI can't help feeling like I don't have enough done yet. Surely I've forgotten something. And tomorrow night Ellen and Jeff and I are going to catch "Pan's Labyrinth," so that's an off night.
The samurai from the Outlands I met two years ago is not going to be shipped somewhere due to a work crisis and WILL be at the War. It'll be nice to see him again. He's good people.
One of the other SCA Nihonjin I've been corresponding with is hosting an "Asian Night" gathering on Thursday night, so I'll finally get to meet him as well. I need to hit Yaoya-san Saturday and pick up some wagashi (traditional sweets). Guest gifts are very Japanese.
It's been a year since I embarrassed myself at Outlands' Bardic by forgetting lyrics to songs I shouldn't have forgotten. It certainly wasn't the venue - the Outlanders are a wonderful bunch and I've made some great friends there. It was me: something was broken, badly. It was a symptom of a situation that was eating me alive. (And no, honor and discretion prevent me telling what it was. Suffice to say, the shark was punched in the snout and I made a getaway.)
Unlike some folks, performing is not easy for me. It's never been about self-aggrandizement, it's because the music is so freaking beautiful. In all honesty, I'm much happier playing background music in a corner of a noisy feast hall than standing up in front of an audience. My first performance in the SCA was such a disaster I had people coming up to me for the rest of the event to ask me if I was OK. Even after all these years, I suffer stage fright.
Choosing to adhere to a repertoire of period material raises the bar even higher. I have to stand up in front of people who believe period music is elitist and boring - and convince them otherwise. Even my rock hard forehead gets bruised and bloody from crashing into that bar.
I haven't wanted sing for the longest time. I've asked myself over and over if anyone even wants to hear it.
Am I even ready to try?
The samurai from the Outlands I met two years ago is not going to be shipped somewhere due to a work crisis and WILL be at the War. It'll be nice to see him again. He's good people.
One of the other SCA Nihonjin I've been corresponding with is hosting an "Asian Night" gathering on Thursday night, so I'll finally get to meet him as well. I need to hit Yaoya-san Saturday and pick up some wagashi (traditional sweets). Guest gifts are very Japanese.
It's been a year since I embarrassed myself at Outlands' Bardic by forgetting lyrics to songs I shouldn't have forgotten. It certainly wasn't the venue - the Outlanders are a wonderful bunch and I've made some great friends there. It was me: something was broken, badly. It was a symptom of a situation that was eating me alive. (And no, honor and discretion prevent me telling what it was. Suffice to say, the shark was punched in the snout and I made a getaway.)
Unlike some folks, performing is not easy for me. It's never been about self-aggrandizement, it's because the music is so freaking beautiful. In all honesty, I'm much happier playing background music in a corner of a noisy feast hall than standing up in front of an audience. My first performance in the SCA was such a disaster I had people coming up to me for the rest of the event to ask me if I was OK. Even after all these years, I suffer stage fright.
Choosing to adhere to a repertoire of period material raises the bar even higher. I have to stand up in front of people who believe period music is elitist and boring - and convince them otherwise. Even my rock hard forehead gets bruised and bloody from crashing into that bar.
I haven't wanted sing for the longest time. I've asked myself over and over if anyone even wants to hear it.
Am I even ready to try?
