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Motivation wank
Nov. 12th, 2007 09:47 pmReally. I have been very good, I think. I get out of bed in the morning. I go to work. Nobody there would ever guess that there is a hole in the world because I can usually bury myself in busywork. It's only when I'm doing my miles that my mind goes places they do not know about.
I forced myself to participate in a demo and to attend an event that required me to drive a couple of hours each direction in the rain. I entertained a house guest and went out to breakfast with her. Then I came home and became a turnip. Because I want to be a turnip right now.
I am aware that this is natural under the circumstances. I am also aware that this is not good.
In the meantime, there's a brand new, used only once PC microphone sitting here on the side of my desk radiating guilt-causing "You blew $40 on me and aren't using me!" vibes. But I did use it. Once. After over a year of hating trying to sing anywhere outside the confines of my truck with the windows firmly rolled up, and less than two weeks after all the light was sucked out of the world.
If I commit the fact that I'm having an idea to writing here in front of you, maybe I'll actually do something un-turnip-like with it.
I forced myself to participate in a demo and to attend an event that required me to drive a couple of hours each direction in the rain. I entertained a house guest and went out to breakfast with her. Then I came home and became a turnip. Because I want to be a turnip right now.
I am aware that this is natural under the circumstances. I am also aware that this is not good.
In the meantime, there's a brand new, used only once PC microphone sitting here on the side of my desk radiating guilt-causing "You blew $40 on me and aren't using me!" vibes. But I did use it. Once. After over a year of hating trying to sing anywhere outside the confines of my truck with the windows firmly rolled up, and less than two weeks after all the light was sucked out of the world.
If I commit the fact that I'm having an idea to writing here in front of you, maybe I'll actually do something un-turnip-like with it.
