The camera lies all the time

This is for a friend who is bludgeoning herself over some photographs she is not pleased with.

From the time I was old enough to know what a camera was, I hated the things. My mother has albums full of pictures of me with my hands pasted to my face or turning my face away or running out of frame. I kid you not.

THIS monstrosity was taken by a professional photographer. I'd seen other portraits he took. I fell for it. I trusted him and me made me look pissed off and pregnant when I was neither.

This is me in the exact same outfit, a couple of months later, taken by a friend. Not a pro, but with a reasonably good eye and a knack for making me feel comfortable in front of a camera.

This one ties with the professional photo as worst picture of me ever.

Thirty pounds lighter, still pudgy and wrinkled, but this is another one by that friend, one of the last photos he ever took of me.

Bad lighting, odd angle, but I like this one.

In other words, you can't predict what's going to come out of the camera. Ever.