How to change a light bulb
Nov. 28th, 2008 11:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gurdymonkey1. Dig owner's manual out of glovebox and look for key to fuse boxes, determining that the one that controls the tail lights is under the hood.
2. Struggle with hood latch that has never been quite the same since you rear-ended the woman who decided at the last possible moment that she needed to veer into a 7/11 for a Big Gulp, giving you no time to stop and more body damage than she got for her stupidity.
3. Determine that every fuse in the box is working because, hey, as long as you're in here, you might as well.
4. Run upstairs for a Phillips head screwdriver.
5. Pull cover off rear tail-light to reveal one bulb burned absolutely black.
6. Screw cover back on.
7. Run upstairs to get purse.
8. Drive 1/2 mile to Kragen Auto Parts. Enter store with manual in hand, and pick out correct bulb even as 19 year old clerk is saying, "May I help you?" Pay for purchase.
9. Toss purse into front seat, retrieve tools, lock door and retire to back of truck to install light bulb.
10. Discover that bulb is rusted in place and you will need pliers - which are, of course, at home - to complete the job.
11. Screw cover back on. Curse profusely as you discover you have locked your keys in the truck.
12. Ask nice boys in auto parts store if they have a slim jim. Nice Boy #2 says, "Yes, we sell them," and discovers that none are on the hang rack. Or in the stock room.
13. Offer profuse thanks to Nice Boy #1 for calling tow truck.
14. Offer profuse thanks and pay $57 to Nice Tow Truck Guy who appears in under 10 minutes and jimmies door lock in about 45 seconds. File business card in a safe corner of wallet because one never knows when one will need a local tow service.
15. Drive home. Run upstairs. Retrieve pliers. Run downstairs. Unscrew light cover. Break bulb off collar, somehow managing not to get cut. Pry bulb collar out of socket. Install fresh light bulb. Screw cover back on.
Yes, I am that dumb.
2. Struggle with hood latch that has never been quite the same since you rear-ended the woman who decided at the last possible moment that she needed to veer into a 7/11 for a Big Gulp, giving you no time to stop and more body damage than she got for her stupidity.
3. Determine that every fuse in the box is working because, hey, as long as you're in here, you might as well.
4. Run upstairs for a Phillips head screwdriver.
5. Pull cover off rear tail-light to reveal one bulb burned absolutely black.
6. Screw cover back on.
7. Run upstairs to get purse.
8. Drive 1/2 mile to Kragen Auto Parts. Enter store with manual in hand, and pick out correct bulb even as 19 year old clerk is saying, "May I help you?" Pay for purchase.
9. Toss purse into front seat, retrieve tools, lock door and retire to back of truck to install light bulb.
10. Discover that bulb is rusted in place and you will need pliers - which are, of course, at home - to complete the job.
11. Screw cover back on. Curse profusely as you discover you have locked your keys in the truck.
12. Ask nice boys in auto parts store if they have a slim jim. Nice Boy #2 says, "Yes, we sell them," and discovers that none are on the hang rack. Or in the stock room.
13. Offer profuse thanks to Nice Boy #1 for calling tow truck.
14. Offer profuse thanks and pay $57 to Nice Tow Truck Guy who appears in under 10 minutes and jimmies door lock in about 45 seconds. File business card in a safe corner of wallet because one never knows when one will need a local tow service.
15. Drive home. Run upstairs. Retrieve pliers. Run downstairs. Unscrew light cover. Break bulb off collar, somehow managing not to get cut. Pry bulb collar out of socket. Install fresh light bulb. Screw cover back on.
Yes, I am that dumb.
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no subject
Date: 2008-11-28 09:58 pm (UTC)(2) It is for this very reason that I keep a second car key (besides the detachable one I actually use to drive with) on my key ring, and that my key ring is tied to my belt so I cannot possibly lock *all* of my keys in the car unless I am in there with them. (Admittedly, I did lose the key ring with both car keys on it once: that was amusing. But the second layer of protection has prevented several potentially frustrating moments.)
(3) Sympathies1 Some days are like that. Thankfully there are Nice People around most of the time who help. (Ask me sometime about the time I got two flat tires in the same day.)
no subject
Date: 2008-11-29 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-29 05:59 am (UTC)