gurdymonkey | Harry Potter Spoilers

http://www.masquerademaskarts.com/memes/harrypotterspoiler.php generates plot spoilers for the new HP film but I'd rather write my own.

Harry drops out of Hogwarts to backpack across Eurasia with Tumnus the Faun and Tenzing Norgay.

Ginny Weasley has dyed her hair a black not found in nature and has gone completely Goth.

George and Fred Weasley are in negotiations with the BBC for a British version of "Mythbusters."

Neville Longbottom and Cho Chang have qualified for the World Ballroom Dancing competition at Blackpool.

In a classic, yet predictable twist on the kid who converts to paganism to Piss Off The 'Rents, Draco Malfoy is Born Again and runs away to Detroit to pursue his dream of singing with the Winans.

Severus Snape, fed up with years of putting up with spoiled children who don't do their damned homework, accepts a job in the private sector with Genentech in Vacaville, California. When last seen, he was sporting a ponytail and wearing a Hawaiian shirt and almost smiling. Well, it was a Friday, after all.

Ron Weasley owns a Ford dealership in Tunbridge Wells.