gurdymonkey | When a peer has a bad day

This was posted elsewhere in response to comments by a couple of people on a post about what kills one's SCA magic and how one gets it back and I'm sharing it here.

".....when I see a Peer ... just plateau and stagnate."
" People, especially those with high honors, acting dickish, especially in ways that drive away newcomers."

I would like you to please imagine for just a moment what it's like to be highly visible from the moment you step out of your vehicle to the moment you leave site.

Imagine being desperate to get to the privy only to be stopped several times by people who want something from you.

I want you to imagine lying in your tent with a pounding headache and having to paste a smile on your face and straighten your hair to go out and be introduced to someone who just wants to lick your brain for a few minutes only to never be seen again.

Think about trying to get into the proper frame of mind to step out onto the tourney field in ten minutes and kill your opponents successfully and not being able to because, "Hey, can you adopt some newbies right this second?"

Imagine what it's like to join SCA social media groups with the aim of being able to share your knowledge when someone needs a resource and reading approximately once a month how much you suck because All Laurels are Mean.

Being a peer is a job. Being a good peer is hard damn work. The only requirement for most participants in the SCA is to show up in an attempt at pre-17th century attire and behave like a lady or gentleman. My *job* is to obey the Society governing documents and kingdom law, show respect for the crown, set an example of courteous and noble behavior suitable to a peer of the realm, demonstrate support for the aims and ideals of the Society by being as authentic in dress, equipment and behavior as is within my power, share my knowledge and skills with others, practice hospitality according to my means and as appropriate to the circumstances, make every effort to learn and practice those skills desirable at and worthy of a civilized court and participate in Society recreations of several aspects of the culture of the Middle Ages and Renaissance.

Could you handle that? Could you imagine every single event you go to being that much work? Can you imagine being relieved to get the hell off site and be away from people for the next twenty four hours? Can you bite your tongue when you're in a shitty mood and try to be gracious and inspiring?

If you were around on Saturday, you know I did not have a good day, because I'm human. I had a fighting goal. Even if I hadn't overdone it at Thursday's practice, I probably would not have succeeded in achieving it because everyone and everything became a distraction from that goal. I spent the entire day very, very angry and trying to keep that on a leash.

I get it - it only takes one asshole to ruin someone's day. But because I'm a peer, I'm not supposed to let it show when someone ruins mine - and I failed.

So next time you think a peer sucks, ask yourself whether they might just be overwhelmed and having a bad day.