Brought to you by the letter "H."

[gurdymonkey]

As in "harassment."

And "hazing."

As mentioned in a previous post, I recently had to deal with some stalker-like behavior. That the party in question is probably harmless and that the situation was dealt with in a safe and reasonably polite manner is not the point. The point is that I had to deal with it at all in an environment which is supposed to be "safe."

Anyone ever been touched without your permission by someone whose only excuse for doing so is that we're all SCA and you therefore should hold still for their friendly little back rub being groped? One party who tried it with me was told by me in embarrassingly loud and public tones to cease and desist.

Ever tell someone to stop doing something and have them persist because they think it's funny? Like the guy who decided to find out if I was ticklish and no amount of verbal protest or physical resistance short of whipping off one of my Birkenstocks and whaling him across the forearm with it as hard as I could was going to stop him. He had the nerve to be shocked and hurt too.  

I'm willing to bet that the people who don't see what all the fuss is about on the alleged lifting incident reported this week on SCA-West have never been in a like position, regardless of gender.

Comments

[takadai-no-tora.livejournal.com]

I get it--I've been there and someone touching me against my will in the way you describe makes me feel physically ill. I have also publicly yelled, slapped and shoved and I'll do it again if I need to.
That kind of behavior is harassment and it's inexcuseable.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Sadly, it is more likely in some cases that they have. Pretty girls spend their lives as targets of such "harmless" fun and there comes a point where it is easier to blow it off as "no big deal" than to recognize that you've been victimized at some level.

And the letter "B"

[helblonde.livejournal.com]

for bully.

No one has permission to touch you without an expicit go-ahead. No one. Any one who does needs to be disabused of the notion.

[sengokudaimyo.livejournal.com]

"The alleged lifting incident"?

What the hell?

[gurdymonkey.livejournal.com]

Someone is conned into a bet that so and so can lift him/her and two (or even more) other people at once, is immobilized by said two or more "co-liftees" then has an ice cold beverage dumped on his/her crotch. Ha ha very funny, we got ya, look how dumb you are. Supposedly some people were told that they had to go through this to join the SCA and someone didn't take it as funny.

[sengokudaimyo.livejournal.com]

What the hell?

Where are we, high school? That's pathetic.

Makes me want to kick people in the goolies.

[layla-lilah.livejournal.com]

"Where are we, high school?"

Yes.

I've noticed an awful lot of social behaviors that i thought i'd left behind after high school, but, no. And i don't just mean among the young. I see them with the old and experienced as well.

I had a personal experience during which i kept thinking, this can't be happening, this isn't high school, we're adults now. Well, i was wrong. It happened.

And it wasn't just once, and it isn't just me.

I imagine it's true throughout the SCA - it is, after all, composed of humans. I'm sure individuals are more adult, and perhaps some households, but in general, it reminds me sooooo much, too much, of high school.

The biggest difference is that with high school, one sees and interacts with the same people 5 days a week, and often on weekends, too. In the SCA, one often doesn't see people except at events, unless one is best buds. So the dimension of time and space makes altering the nature of interactions that much more... uh... complex.

[erink.livejournal.com]

I joined the SCA as a teenager ... I still don't like backrubs! Luckily I never had major problems with that kind of stuff.

Happens in other social circles too - do a search for "open source boobs" if you want another ridiculous example!

and the letter "A"

[layla-lilah.livejournal.com]

A as in appalled.

I admit i haven't posted about it to the list. The list itself is the usual mix of insanities. If i'd never been to a Western event, and only read sca-west, well, i'd never go to a Western event.

Anyway, there's just one excuse after another for condoning such appalling behavior.

I'd never heard of "lifting" before, but if some knight's household does this to its squires, well, they've been around, and probably have plenty of spare garb, or friends to warm them up afterwards.

Whereas a newcomer can't know if they've fallen in with "the wrong crowd". And the young and the insecure often fall prey to these so-called "harmless pranks" because they want to belong, want to do what's "right" without knowing what's right.

But i've been Gold Key at both Kingdom and Principality levels for at least 6 years. I know that many newcomers, often young and/or impecunious, arrive under dressed and without much in the way of warm clothing or warm camping gear. Getting them cold and wet in a cold Western night, when even in summer it's often in the low 50s or high 40s, is not a "fun" thing at all, nor is it amusing. And it is not just unpleasant, but a possible health and safety issue.

I worked Ren Fairs as an actor for many years, both big fairs (RPFI) and at the multitude of small fairs throughout California and Nevada. At one small fair, a member of our acting group was molested during a "gig". When our guild master went to the molester's guild mistress, all she said was, "Ah, grow up!" It turned out our compatriot had been molested as a child and this had a profound effect. In the end, our guild dissolved, because, as our guild master said, if acting at fairs was no longer fun, and if he couldn't protect us, then it wasn't worth doing anymore.

It sucks that for some people this was their first experience with the SCA, and it drove them away. And i sickens me to hear certain "peers of the realm" justifying it.